This will be my first New Year’s Resolution in a long, long time. I generally never make them, but upon reflecting back on 2008, I realize I need to make just this one. As a nurturer by nature, I neglect myself. A LOT. I put myself last. A LOT. I carry other’s burdens. A LOT. I’m the designated surrogate mother. I give ALL of myself and my family expects nothing less. It’s what they’re used to. It’s what I do.
My wake-up moment? No one ever calls or asks how I’m doing. EVER. Dayum. That hurts, but I did it to myself. A change is gonna come in 2009.
Why? Because I have needs too. I need to vent too. I hurt too. I need help too. I’m stressed out too. I’m broke too. I have relationship problems too. I feel alone too. I need a break too. I’m worried too. I’m pissed too. I’m sick too. My kids get on my nerves too. I need someone to listen to me too. My life matters too. REALLY. IT DOES.
My New Year’s resolution? Simply to start living life. FOR ME. I’ll still be there, but at those times when I’m conveniently unavailable to listen, the answering machine will. Leave a message. I may or may not get back to you. Don’t be alarmed though. I’m probably out doing something I haven’t done for a while. Taking time out. FOR ME. To live MY life. FOR ME.