To Dye or Not To Dye

I had to be about 17 years old when I told my mom she should stop dying her hair.  I mean, what was the big deal?  I felt since she’s an “older lady”, she should just let her gray hair grow.  In reponse, she said, “Let’s have this discussion again when you get to be my age”.   Fast forward many years later, I think that time has arrived mom.  See those stray gray hairs in my hairline?  I’m officially an “older lady”.  To dye or not to dye?  That is the issue.

What started all of this?  I have an older sister who let go of the color and is sporting the most gorgeous salt and pepper twa you’ve ever seen.  Gray hair looks great on her, but I feel it ages me.   On the other hand, if I cut my hair down to a twa, it just might work or am I feeding into the “older ladies should cut their hair short” stereotype?   

Just as a I’ve learned to accept my “natural hair” over the last six years, now I have to learn to accept my  “naturally gray hair”.  Sigh.  Mom, now I understand.  The decision to stop dying your hair is not as easy as I thought it would be and just like you, I don’t think I’m ready yet.  Lol!


4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Sharon on July 21, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    LI’m 56 ans always like my aunt’s gray hair. I sort of planned to go gray at “the right time”. Well as it turned out, the only reason I have natural color now that I went bald with chemo 5 years ago. Have not paid for a hair do since then. It did come back darker and curlier, but now the gray is coming in more and more. I like other people’s gray but my own seems to age me too much. Still I feel I have been freed from the panic I used to feel when the gray roots started to peek out.

    Every now and then I still have to fight the feeling I need to go back to dye like my friends. The only thing that stops me is wondering at what point I would grow up and “really” stop dying my hair. I’m 56.


  2. Posted by maturenatural on July 21, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    Sharon, thanks for sharing. I’m tired of the coloring process. It’s the in-between stage of growing out the color that gets so frustrating. I’m seriously contemplating cutting it off.


  3. Hey there… been meaning to get back here sooner, but you know… life happens. I’ve been struggling with this one for MONTHS. I’ll be 55 fairly shortly and have been rinsing/dying my hair for the last 20 years. My daughter used to bug me about it incessantly when she was a teen, the same way you did your mom. I’ve seen many women with salt and pepper locs, some longer, some shorter than my own and they look BEAUTIFUL. And I’ve thought about letting it go gray but honestly I think the gray hair does not flatter me and I’m just not there yet. I could accept it better, I think, if I woke up one morning and it had already happened, but hair coming in gray at my temples and forehead and growing back into my hair is just not a good look for me.

    Could be that my opinion is colored by (excuse the pun) two facts:

    I’m involved with a much younger man (I don’t really think that’s a factor; I think about our age difference much more than he does.)
    I’m actively looking for a job (Age discrimination lives!).

    So what did YOU decide?



  4. Posted by maturenatural on September 5, 2008 at 8:18 am

    Hi Lee! I wasn’t feeling the grays at all, so I decided to color. I think it’s cool you’re involved with a younger man which would make any woman more conscious about her appearance. Here’s a thought for ya. Most men “our age” would probably age us more than the gray hairs. lol!.

    I never thought about it before, but it makes sense. Age discrimination just may be the reason I’m still unemployed. It has never taken me this long to find a job. Ever.


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